


My Favorite Color Is You

by sunshinearmin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-22 00:18:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13752231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinearmin/pseuds/sunshinearmin
Summary: High School AU, Sick Armin AU.  This story was inspired by NOT OVER YET by sayanara   and i highly recommend you all read that wonderful fic





	1. So I Stayed In The Darkness With You

**Armin POV**  


Armin hated lying to his friends. Absolutely abhorred it. But he didn’t see any way around it. He was enough of a burden to them, and if they knew the truth, they’d treat him like a fragile doll instead of a person. So, he lied. An the lies just kept piling up.  


He sat in the doctor’s office with his mom, dreading what the doctor would say. He was getting worse, he could feel it. His symptoms were getting worse. He had no energy. No appetite. He couldn’t sleep.  


The doctor knocked and came in. She let out a sigh as she sat down, and looked between Armin and his mother. “Well, the blood tests show your anemic again, Armin. That might account for some of the lethargy.”  


“Do I have to go to the hospital again?” Armin asked.  


The doctor let out another sigh. “Yes. You need another transfusion.”  


Armin hung his head and he felt Mom’s hand on his leg. “Does he have to go today?”  


“I think it can wait until tomorrow, as long as he promises not to play any contact sports like hockey.”  


Armin lifted his head and looked at her. “I haven’t played a sport since I was 10. I don’t even really do gym class.” He felt a little bad as he saw the humor leave her eyes. She was a new doctor, at least to him. His eighth in five years. Mom kept finding reasons to find a new one. His last one had only lasted four months. Mom said she didn’t like his attitude. Armin thought it was more likely that she didn’t like the prospects he had given Armin. Armin pondered if this doctor would be around long enough to even warrant learning her name. He gave her a wicked smile. “Besides, I’d probably kill myself trying to get on the ice.”  


She smiled back at him then. “You and me both. So, I’ll call over and let them know you’ll be coming in tomorrow. Let you spend the night at home.  


“How long will I have to stay this time?” he asked.  


“That depends on how well you respond to the transfusion.”  


Armin liked this doctor. She didn’t treat him like he was a little kid that didn’t know what was happening to him. “So, we’ll see you tomorrow.”  


“It’s a date.”  


“First one I’ve been on in years.” He grinned.  


“Alright, smarty pants, let’s go.” Mom said, standing up and collecting her purse and coat. “Thank you, Doctor.”  


“Yeah, thanks Doc.” Armin said, climbing off the exam table.  


She just shook her head. “Goodbye, Armin. Klara.”  


Armin followed his mother out of the office and waited until they were in the elevator to broach his question. “Do you think I’ll be able to go to school on Monday?”  


He knew her answer before she even opened her mouth. Mom had a very expressive face, and she could never hide what she was feeling. “Probably not, honey. But maybe by Wednesday.”  


“You really think so?”  


“We’ll see after tomorrow.” The elevator doors opened and they stepped out into the lobby. Armin could feel people were staring at him. Their looks ranged anywhere from pity to outright horror. He looked like a sick kid. He had incredibly pale skin, near translucent. You could see the bright blue of his veins. He had tired, sunken eyes, with dark bags under them. His body was small and frail. For a 16 year old boy, he was only 5’4”. He always wondered if the illness had stunted his growth, or if he was genetically cursed to be short. He figured, since he was still a couple inches shorter than Mom, it was probably some combination of both. “Maybe we could get some ice cream tonight after dinner.” She said, as they walked outside and unlocked the car. They qualified for a handicap placard so the car was in the front of the lot. He was glad because he was already tired. Maybe he should have used the chair. But he hated needing to use it. That really made him feel weak.  


He crawled into the car and looked at Mom as she climbed into the driver’s seat. “How are you going to afford another hospital visit? You just finished paying off the last one.”  


“That’s for your father and I to worry about, not you.”  


“But I do worry. You guys have thrown away your whole lives because of me.”  


“We’re your parents. That’s part of the deal.” She turned on the car and started driving.  


“That’s not what I meant. You guys could have been going on vacations, seeing the world. Instead, all you guys do is work and see doctors. You don’t have lives and it’s all my fault.”  


“Armin, you are treading into territory you know I don’t like you going.”  


“Am I the reason you guys never had any more kids? Because I was always sick and you didn’t have time for anyone else?”  


“No. You are not the reason we never had more children. The reason for that had nothing to do with you.”  


“But-“  


“Eren and Mikasa are both only children, aren’t they? And they’re not sick.” She had him there and she knew it. “There are plenty of reasons why a couple only has one child, and your illness is not the reason for us, so don’t upset yourself over things that aren’t true.”  


He sat quietly the rest of the car ride home. He stared up at the house as they pulled in the driveway. They’d moved here three years ago from his childhood home because the stairs had become too much for him. This house was only one story (plus a basement that he wasn’t allowed in). The garage had a door straight into the kitchen, so when Mom parked the car inside, he quickly made his escape. “I’m going to watch TV.”  


“Okay, honey.”  


He went inside and walked into the kitchen into the living room. Grandpa was sleeping in the recliner. He had moved in with them last year under the guise of being extra hands around the house. Armin suspected that he was sick and didn’t want to financially burden them by going into a home. Something else Armin could blame himself for. He often wondered which one of them would waste away first. Who would Mom find dead one morning?  


He plopped down on the couch and grabbed the remote off the coffee table. Grandpa had some old black and white show on. Armin flicked to the station with the soccer game on. Like he had some sort of 6th sense, Grandpa immediately woke up as soon as the station changed. “Who the hell- oh. Armin.”  


“Hi, Grandpa.”  


“How was the doctor’s?”  


“I have to go to the hospital again.”  


“Anemia again?”  


“Yup.” Armin loved to watch soccer. Mikasa played, and he loved going to her games. He was so sure in five years’ time, she’d be on the national team. He wondered if he’d be alive to see it.  


“I’m sorry.”  


“Me too. For Mom and Dad. No idea how they’re going to keep paying for this stuff, especially since it’s only going to keep getting more expensive.”  


“There’s always your college fund.”  


“Ha! That got used up to buy this house.” Armin remembered how Mom had cried over that decision. Just then, the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it.”  


“What? Armin-“  


Though weak and tired, Armin was still quicker than his arthritic grandfather. He took a moment to catch his breath, and then swung the front door open. There on his front porch, red hair shining in the sun, was Sasha Braus. “Hi.” He said shortly.  


“Hi, Armin! I brought your homework!” She held up a blue folder.  


“Oh. What happened to Thomas?” Normally, Thomas Wagner delivered Armin’s homework, and took the old stuff back to school.  


“Well, my dad and I moved last week, so I’m on the next block, which is considerably closer than Thomas, so they asked me to do it. Which is okay because Thomas is on the swim team and I don’t do anything with my life ever.”  


Armin raised his eyebrows slightly. Wow, she could talk a lot. He’d never really hung out with Sasha, but she seemed sweet enough. And after having been out of school for three weeks now, and his return nowhere in sight, he felt starved for a human interaction with someone besides his family and the doctors. So, he did something he never did. 

“Do you want to come in, Sasha?”  


She smiled brightly. “Sure!” He stepped back and opened the door wider, letting her inside. “We all miss you at school.”  


“Yeah, I’m hoping to be able to go back this week.” He could feel Grandpa staring at his back as he closed the door.  


“That’s wonderful!”  


“Let’s go to my room.” He said, not feeling like hanging out in front of Grandpa.  


“I feel like I should tell your mother that you have a girl in your room.” Grandpa said.  


“Knock yourself out.” Armin replied. His bedroom was off of the living room. His one window overlooked the front lawn. He assumed his parents had put him here so that if they called the paramedics, they wouldn’t have far to go. He led the way in and walked to his desk.  


“You have a really nice room.” Sasha said, looking around.  


“Thank you.” Armin picked up an identical blue folder to the one Sasha was holding, full of the school work he had done this week. “Here, you have to take this back.”  


“Right.” Sasha traded folders with him, placing the one he’d handed her into her backpack. “But seriously, your room is so much nicer than mine. Though I guess once I have time to decorate it, it won’t be so bad.”  


“Yeah, I’ve had three years and a hell of a lot of free time.” He shrugged, dropping the folder she gave him on the desk. He sank onto his bed. “Do you want to sit?” he asked, patting the bed next to him.  


“Oh, yeah.” She sat down next to him, setting her backpack on the floor.  


“So, I’ve been out of the loop. You’ll have to give me all of the gossip happening at school.”  


“Jean Kirschstein is running for class president, but he’s going to lose to Marco Bott.”  


“How come?”  


“Because everyone I know is voting for Marco.”  


“Oh.”  


“Including me.” She laughed. “Let’s see, apparently Historia Reiss is a lesbian.”  


“Really?” Armin’s jaw dropped a little. “No way.”  


“That’s what I thought, but she got caught, making out with Ymir in the art closet.”  


“I thought Historia was dating Reiner Braun.”  


“Here’s where it gets really crazy. Their whole relationship was just a cover for the fact that both of them are gay.”  


“WHAT?!” Armin’s mind was being blown. Reiner and Historia had been your stereotypical, teen movie high school couple. He was on the football team, she a cheerleader. 

Both set to become captains of their respective squads during senior year next year. Both were blonde and beautiful.  


“Reiner had apparently secretly seeing Bertolt Hoover. They were each other’s beards! Can you believe that?”  


“When did all this happen?”  


“Last week. Did seriously no one tell you?”  


“Well, I only have two friends and they’ve been…busy.” To be honest, Armin wasn’t entirely sure why he hadn’t heard from either Mikasa or Eren. Usually, they at least texted him.  


“I’d say they were busy. You’re friends with Mikasa Ackerman and Eren Jaeger right?”  


Armin had a bad feeling he was about to find out why he hadn’t heard from his best friends. “Yeah…why?”  


“THEY were caught kissing behind the bleachers.”  


Armin could feel the blood rushing by his ears. Was this why? They’d been blowing him off? “Each other?”  


“Yeah. They didn’t tell you?” Sasha’s voice had gone soft.  


“No. No they didn’t tell me.” Armin felt a surge of anger. Those bastards. He had been the one telling each of them for YEARS to act on their feelings for each other, and when they finally do, they don’t even tell him? They completely blow him off for three weeks?  


“Well, don’t feel bad. I don’t have any friends who tell me stuff, or hang out with me either.”  


“Really?” That surprised Armin a little.  


“Yeah, they all think I’m weird.”  


“They think I’m weird too.” Armin sighed. “Hey, my family’s going to get ice cream tonight. Would you want to come along?”  


Sasha’s whole face brightened up. “Really?”  


“Yeah, I’ll ask my mom.” He sucked in a deep breath. “MOM!” He yelled.  


In a moment, she appeared in his doorway. “Oh my god, your grandfather wasn’t lying. You actually have a girl in here.”  


“Mom, this is Sasha.”  


“Hello, Sasha.”  


“Hello ma’am.” Sasha gave a small wave.  


“I was wondering if Sasha could come along to get ice cream with us tonight?”  


Mom looked taken aback. Armin had never actually said he’d wanted to go get ice cream. Recently, he’d been shooting down her efforts to cheer him up. And he never had friends over, let alone invite them out. She smiled brightly. Apparently this change in attitude pleased her. “Sure, honey! Does this mean that Sasha will be staying for dinner?”  


Armin looked at Sasha. She smiled brightly. “I would love to! My dad’s away this weekend, so this’ll be much nicer than the microwave dinner I had planned.” Armin noticed that Sasha had a tendency to overshare about her life, but rather than find it annoying like he did when most people did it, he found it endearing.  


“So, it’s settled then.” Mom turned and left the room.  


“Wait, so your dad moves you into a new house and then leaves for the weekend?”  


Sasha shrugged. “He has to travel a lot for work.”  


“Must be lonely.” She hadn’t said so, but from the way she spoke, her mother didn’t seem to be in the picture.  


“It’s better now that we’re in this house. Our old house was out in the woods, with no one around and nothing to do. Plus, I have my cat.”  


“Oh, you have a cat? That’s cool.”  


“Yeah, here.” Sasha pulled out her phone and showed him her background, which was a little black cat. “Her name is Sable.”  


“Like the color?”  


“Like the wrestler.” Sasha said happily.  


Armin stared at her. That was…adorable. He’d never met a person who named their pet after a 90s WWE wrestler and yet it worked for her. It just fit. “Sasha Braus, I think we’re gonna be good friends.” Armin grinned.


	2. I Feel Like A Waterfall

**Sasha POV**

As she climbed into the car with Armin and his parents, Sasha tried to think of how much time she’d spent with him in the past. She’d met Armin Arlert at Aanval Junior High, and while she’d worked with him on projects and stuff like that, she hadn’t really thought of them as friends. They were classmates, was all. He missed a lot of school, and when he was there, he came off as shy. Like he’d rather be in his books than talking to his classmates. But here, he seemed talkative enough. She wondered if it was just a school thing. 

She also wondered just how sick he was. When people at school asked about it, he always played it off as like a bad case of the flu, or strep throat. But this time, he’d been out of school for three weeks, and when she’d been in his room, she had noticed a wheelchair folded up in the corner. Looking at him now, she wasn’t sure he weighed 100 pounds soaking wet. And the way his parents kept looking at him during dinner… 

Thinking of dinner, he had hardly eaten anything, which was a sharp contrast to Sasha, who was now feeling like she had eaten too much. Papa always joked that she had a hollow leg where she put all the food. She couldn’t help it. She liked good food, and Mrs. Arlert had made good food. They’d had macaroni and cheese, and mashed potatoes made from real potatoes, not the instant stuff Papa always bought. She realized she had never told them what she thought of dinner. “I just wanted to say thank you for dinner, Mrs. Arlert. It was really, incredibly delicious.” 

That made Mrs. Arlert smile as she turned to look in the backseat. “Thank you, Sasha. I’m glad you liked it.” 

Sasha smiled back. She liked making people smile. She glanced over at Armin, who was staring out the window. Once you got past the obvious signs of illness, like the bags under his eyes, and just how pale he was, he was pretty cute. He had shaggy blonde hair that hung around his face. It looked like sunshine to her. He had a cute button nose and sharp blue eyes, the color of the sky. He noticed her staring and looked at her. “What?” 

Her face flushed slightly. “Nothing. I was just thinking of what ice cream flavor I’m going to get.” Phew. That was a good cover. 

That made Armin smile. “I hope that they have orange swirl. That’s my favorite.” 

“Really? I figured you for something less sweet, given your snark.” She giggled. “Like coffee or something.” 

“Ew! Gross!” Armin laughed. “I don’t like coffee anything.” 

“Me neither! It’s so bitter!” 

“When did you have coffee, Armin?” His mom asked. 

“Grandpa took me.” Armin answered. 

“Of course he did.” Mr. Arlert muttered. He’d been fairly quiet through most of the evening, and Sasha could see where he’d learned to be so politely aloof. 

“Ed.” Mrs. Arlert said, a note of warning in her voice. 

“So, what’s your favorite, Sasha?” Armin asked, evidently ignoring his parents and the fight that seemed to be brewing in the front seat. 

“Oh, chocolate chip cookie dough.” She said simply. 

“So, is that what you’re going to get?” 

"I don’t know. I like to try different flavors. There’s so many options.” 

“Yeah, too many sometimes.” Armin sighed. 

“Well, I’m going to go by my old standby and get vanilla.” Mrs. Arlert said. 

“Boring!” Armin grinned. 

“There’s vanilla in your orange swirl.” Mrs. Arlert argued, turning around to look at her son, who was sitting behind her. 

“Yeah, but it’s mixed with something.” 

“I get it with sprinkles.” 

Armin rolled his eyes. Sasha made eye contact with Mr. Arlert in the rearview mirror and she suspected that this sort of discussion was normal between Armin and his mother. “What are you going to get, Mr. Arlert?” Sasha asked. 

“Hmmm. Cotton candy or birthday cake.” 

“See, Mom! Even Dad is getting something fun.” 

“What is that supposed to mean, even Dad? Are you calling me boring?” 

Armin was spared from answering as they pulled into the parking lot of the ice cream shop. Sasha noticed the handicap parking placard that Mrs. Arlert hung on the mirror as they parked. Another sign that Armin was sicker than he let on. 

“Armin, do you want to wait at this table here, and Dad and I will go in and get the ice cream?” Mrs. Arlert asked as they got out of the car. 

“But Sasha doesn’t know what she wants to get.” Armin argued, leaning heavily against the car. 

Sasha didn’t want to be the reason he tired himself out trying to go inside. Looking between Armin and his mother, there was clearly something going on, and she didn’t want to cause a problem. “I think I’ll get Rocky Road.” She said before sitting down at the table Mrs. Arlert had motioned to earlier, right next to the car. 

“Cup or cone?” Mr. Arlert asked. 

“What is Armin getting?” 

“Dish.” Armin said as he plopped down at the table. He looked exhausted. 

“Then I will get a dish too.” She smiled at the Arlerts as they walked into the shop. “Your parents seem nice.” She said, looking at Armin. 

“They’re helicopters. Especially Mom.” Armin had put his elbow on the table and was resting his cheek on his hand. 

“We should say favorites!” Sasha said, wanting to lighten the mood, and also learn more about this boy who had invited her for food out of the blue. 

“What?” 

“Well, we already said our favorite ice cream flavors, so let’s see. Favorite sport? Mine’s archery.” 

“Soccer.” He said, a wistful expression on his face. 

“Favorite band?” 

“Hmm. Shinedown or Incubus. You?” 

“Bastille.” 

“Really?” Armin lifted his head off his hand as he looked at her. 

Sasha thought she might have sad something wrong. “Yeah.” 

“I used to love them. Still listen to them sometimes.” 

"No way, that’s amazing!” Sasha breathed a sigh of relief. 

“What’s your favorite color?” 

Sasha pondered that for a moment. “Yellow.” She finally said. 

“Huh. Not an answer most people give. Mine’s red. But not like stop sign red. More like…autumn leaves red. You know, as the red starts to fade to brown?” 

Sasha was taken aback. That was such a detailed description, and yet she could picture exactly what the color was. She was lucky his parents came back with the ice cream just then, because she didn’t know how to respond to him. “Thank you.” She smiled at Mr. Arlert as he handed her a dish of rocky road. 

“You’re welcome.” He gave her a small smile before sitting down at the table next to the one she was at. Mrs. Arlert joined him after giving Armin his ice cream. 

As Sasha began to eat, she watched Armin. She liked the way the two colors of his ice cream swirled together, the sharp orange standing out against the crisp white. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever tried orange cream.” She said absentmindedly. 

“Really?” Armin looked taken by surprise. 

“I’ve been wracking my brain and I can’t think of what it tastes like, so obviously, I have never had it.” 

Armin lifted up a spoonful. “Do you want to try a bite of mine?” 

It was Sasha’s turn to be surprised. No one ever offered to share their food with her like this. It made her feel like she could cry. But Armin wouldn’t understand that she was crying because she was happy, so instead she just smiled. “Of course.” She opened her mouth and Armin spooned some in. It was delicious. The blending of the two flavors was amazing, the sharp tang of the orange with the soft sweetness of the vanilla. “That…is amazing! Holy crap!” 

Armin smiled brightly. “I told you!” 

“How has this been kept a secret from me my whole life?” 

Armin laughed and Sasha thought it was one of the sweetest things she had ever heard. “Well, now you’ve been enlightened.” 

“There’s no turning back from here. My life will never be the same.” She grinned at him, then looked down at her own ice cream. “Do you want a bite of mine? To be fair, since you shared your’s?” 

“If you want to.” 

Sasha spooned some into his mouth. “Do you like it?” 

“Yeah, it’s alright. I’m not really a fan of marshmallows.” 

“WHAT? Who doesn’t like marshmallows? It’s like the closest you can get to eating a cloud!” 

“No, it’s not! Cotton candy is the closest you can get to eating a cloud.” Sasha paused. He had her there. So, she fell quiet and ate her ice cream for a while. She was happy to see he ate most of his ice cream. Maybe that was why he had mostly picked at dinner. She’d finished her ice cream when Armin held out his dish. “Do you want to finish mine?” 

She hesitated. Often, people offered her the rest of their food and waited for her to reach for it before yanking it away. But Armin didn’t seem like that. “Sure.” And while she spent the whole time she was reaching expecting it to be pulled away, she still did. Sasha was pleasantly surprised when she was actually able to grab it. “Thanks.” She said, trying to play it off. 

“Of course. I never have much of an appetite anyway.” He shrugged. 

Sasha happily finished off the rest of the ice cream. “So, any plans for the weekend?” 

Armin let out a sigh. “Unfortunately.” 

“Awwwe. You don’t sound happy.” 

“Yeah. Not fun plans. But hey, maybe we could text each other?” He pulled out his phone. 

Sasha brightened as she pulled out her own phone. “I’ll give you my number. It’s 610-394-8726.” Armin diligently typed her number into his phone and in a moment, her phone chirped. While Sasha was saving his number, she noticed he was furiously typing. “What are you doing?” 

“Letting Eren know that he’s a dick.” 

“Language, Armin.” Mrs. Arlert scolded. 

“I think it’s time to be heading home.” Mr. Arlert cut in. 

Sasha stood up and tossed their garbage in the trash can. Then, she climbed back into the car and pulled her backpack onto her lap after buckling her seat belt. She looked over at Armin as he climbed in next to her. “Are you really that mad at Eren?” She asked. 

“Yeah, but not for the reason you think.” 

The Arlerts got into the front, and they drove off towards home. Armin grew quiet as they drove. Sasha got the feeling that he didn’t want to talk about this in front of his parents. So, she pulled out her phone and texted him. 

_‘What’s the real reason?’_

He looked up when his phone chimed, and then looked at her, startled. Finally, he started typing. 

_‘I’m not mad because they did it. I’m mad because they didn’t tell me. They keep telling me I’m their best friend.’_

_‘I’m sorry.’_

_‘Sometimes I feel like they’re leaving me behind.’_

She looked over at him and his face just looked really sad. She reached across and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze. She couldn’t say she knew exactly how he was feeling, as she’d never had close enough friends to get left behind, but the overall feelings of neglect and loneliness she could relate to. Armin just looked at her and squeezed her hand back. 

“Alright, you’ll have to tell us what house, Sasha, dear.” Mrs. Arlert said. 

Sasha hadn’t even noticed they were on her block. “Oh, it’s the white one on the right.” She said. 

“Yellow shutters.” Armin whispered. 

Sasha looked at him. “Yeah. It’s part of why we picked this house. It seemed like a good omen.” 

Armin smiled at her. “A very good omen.” 

“Well, thank you so much for dinner and ice cream.” She said as the car pulled up to the curb. 

“It was our pleasure, Sasha.” Mrs. Arlert smiled. Her smile was very similar to her son’s. 

“I hope to see you in school next week.” She smiled at Armin. 

“I hope so too.” 

“Well, I’ll text you.” She said, climbing out of the car. 

“Bye, Sasha.” He replied before she closed the door. She dug out her keys as cut across the lawn to the front door. Glancing back, she noticed that apparently, the Arlerts were the kind of people who waited until the person was inside before driving away. How adorable was that? She unlocked the door and opened it, then turned and waved at the car. Both Armin and his mom waved back before driving off. She stepped into the house and closed and locked the front door. Dumping her backpack on the living room floor and shedding her shoes in the kitchen, she let out a sigh as she headed for the bathroom. It wasn’t until she had turned on the light and looked in the mirror that she had the realization. The shade Armin had been describing as his favorite color was the exact shade her hair was. 


	3. When You Can’t Shake The Heavy Weight Of Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait between updates. School has been kicking my ass.

Armin POV

When Armin woke up in the morning, he immediately knew something wrong. His pillow felt sticky. Lifting his head slightly, he discovered that the cause was blood. He put a hand up to his nose and fingers came away bloody. “Crap.” He tried to get out of bed and instantaneously felt woozy. “Crap.” He muttered again. “Mom!” he called, sitting on the side of the bed and using his t-shirt to pinch his nose. It already had blood on it anyway. He needed his chair, but like an idiot, he’d left it on the other side of the room. “Mom!” he called a little louder. Where was she? She normally heard him. Was it too early? What time was it anyway? He glanced at his clock. 7:45. That wasn’t too early for Mom. 

He figured he should try and get up to grab his chair. The moment he was upright though, he knew he had made the wrong choice. The room spun and he grabbed at his bed post. “Oh, shit!” He exclaimed. 

Dad burst into the room. “Armin!” 

Armin realized this had to be a weird and possibly frightening scene to walk in on, what with all the blood. But this was not the first time they had gone through this and Dad reacted quickly. He was across the room and grabbed Armin before he could blink. He lowered Armin back onto the bed. “I need my chair.” Armin said breathlessly. 

“I know. Just stay there.” Dad quickly grabbed the chair. “Why didn’t you ask for help?” 

“I called for Mom. I guess she didn’t hear.” 

Dad opened the chair next to the bed. “Alright. Easy does it.” He helped Armin into the chair. “Bathroom first. Is your nose still bleeding?” 

“I don’t know.” He said as he was wheeled from his bedroom down the hall to the bathroom. 

“Klara!” Dad called. 

Armin was about to pull off his shirt when Mom stepped into the doorway. “Oh God.” She immediately sprang into action. She was a seasoned soldier in this war. “Shirt off. Ed? Can you get me a clean shirt?” Dad left the room while Armin pulled off his shirt. Mom set to work inspecting his nose. “I think it’s stopped bleeding.” She wet a wash cloth and began to wipe the blood off of his face. He stared into his mother’s eyes, the same shade as his. 

“Mom. I don’t know if I can keep doing this.” He said softly. 

“Armin, it’s not going to be like this forever.” 

Before Armin could reply, Dad was back with a clean shirt. “I think his pillowcase is a goner.” 

“I’ll look at it before we leave.” Mom said without even looking at him. Armin reached out and took the shirt. 

“Why don’t you go start on breakfast, Mom? I can finish.” He put his hand over her’s. 

“Okay.” She said after a moment. He took the wash cloth out of her hand and she left the room without another word. 

Armin looked at Dad. “I can’t see the mirror. Can you-“ 

Dad took the wash cloth. “We’ll have to figure out putting a mirror down lower.” 

“No point.” Armin huffed as Dad finished wiping his face. He pulled on his clean shirt. “And this shirt’s a goner.” He chucked the blood stained one in the trash can. “Can I go to the kitchen?” 

Armin could wheel himself around, but his parents liked to do it, and he had gotten tired of arguing. Dad pushed him into the kitchen where Mom smiled at him. “What are you having for breakfast? I was thinking waffles.” Mom was using her chipper voice, the one she used when she was trying to pretend everything wasn’t complete shit. 

“Can I just have a piece of toast?” Armin asked in a monotone. 

“Armin, have a real meal. Lord knows you’re not going to get one again for a couple of days.” Grandpa wandered into the kitchen. 

“Fine. Can I have an egg then?” Armin huffed. 

“Of course, sweetheart. Whatever you want.” Mom went to the fridge and pulled out the eggs. Dad has vanished from the kitchen, and Grandpa was getting coffee, so Armin wheeled himself next to the table and grabbed hold of it, hauling himself up out of the wheelchair and plunking himself onto one of the dining room chairs. 

“Armin!” Mom scolded, having seen the motion out of the corner of her eye. 

“I’m not eating in that damn chair.” Armin snapped. 

“Leave him alone, Klare-bear. He’s having a bad morning.” Grandpa said, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“I’m having a bad life.” Armin retorted. The look on his mother’s face showed he’d hit a nerve. 

“Armin-“ Grandpa looked ready to lecture him about upsetting Mom, but Dad’s voice cut him off. 

“Elias, why don’t you take your own advice and leave him alone.” Armin looked at Dad, who was holding his blood stained pillow. “Even if you can save the pillowcase, Klara, I don’t know if the pillow’s salvageable.” 

Armin felt bad. His parents didn’t need to spend money on stupid things like pillows. “Can’t we just use peroxide?” He knew well how to get blood out of clothing. 

“I’ll look at if after breakfast.” Mom said, turning back to Armin’s breakfast. 

“I can do it.” Armin offered. 

“Sorry buddy. The peroxide’s in the basement.” Dad ruffled his hair. 

“One egg, as requested.” Mom set down a plate in front of him, with a fork. To be honest, he didn’t really want it, but he felt bad that Mom had gone through the effort of making it, so he picked at it. 

After breakfast, he wheeled himself back to his bedroom. He thought about how much effort it had taken for his parents to find a house with doorways big enough for his chair. It had ended up costing them more money. Armin grabbed his phone and checked his messages. Two from Eren, apologizing profusely, and one from Mikasa, along the same lines. So, he had to yell at them to get them to talk to him. The message he found himself drawn to was the one from Sasha. 

‘Good morning. Hope you slept better than I did.’

Surprisingly, he had slept rather well. The exhaustion had probably caught up with him. He typed back a message. 

‘Oh no. I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well.’ 

He’d had a lot of fun with Sasha, More fun then he’d had in ages. His phone chimed. 

‘Not your fault. Hard time sleeping here still.’ 

He could understand that. He hadn’t slept well his first month here. 

‘Don’t worry. It’ll get easier. Just give it time.’ 

He messaged back and forth for a little longer before Dad appeared in the doorway. “Time to go, kiddo.” 

Armin let out a sigh before reaching down and grabbing his backpack. He’d packed it last night with all the essentials. Dad wheeled him to the kitchen. “Where’s your sweater?” Mom asked. She had her overnight bag too. Armin shrugged and Mom let out a huff. “I’ll go get it.” She stalked out of the room. 

“I don’t know why she’s acting so upset. I never remember to grab it.” He shook his head. 

“Because she’s your mother, and it’s her job to get upset when you don’t remember your sweatshirt.” Dad said, opening the door to the garage and pushing Armin out next to the car. 

“She should conserve it. There’s much bigger things to get upset about. She’ll burn herself out.” He said as Dad pulled him to his feet. He leaned against the car while Dad opened the door to the back seat. 

“I promise you, I have plenty of energy to spare.” Mom said, walking out into the garage. Grandpa stood in the doorway. 

“Feel better, Armin.” He said. 

“Fat chance of that.” Armin muttered as he climbed into the car, Dad’s hand on his elbow supporting him. Dad snorted while Mom huffed. 

“You can’t just thank your grandfather for his well wishes?” Mom asked as she climbed in the passenger seat. Armin made eye contact with Dad and Armin saw a humorous glint in his eye. Then, Dad closed the door, folded up the chair, and put it in the trunk. Dad had never really gotten along with Grandpa, and their relationship had only deteriorated when Grandpa had moved in. Dad closed the trunk and climbed into the driver’s seat. 

Mom rolled down the window after Dad started the car. “I’ll call you tonight, Daddy.” 

“Alright, I love you, sweetheart.” Grandpa raised a hand as Dad backed the car out of the garage and onto the street. 

Armin picked up his phone. He knew he should probably text Eren back. There were three more messages from him. If Eren was offended by the very descriptive message Armin had sent him yesterday, he wasn’t letting onto it. His messages were nothing but contrition. Maybe he was trying to smother Armin in apologies. It was working. 

‘Alright. Alright. Enough with the sorrys. We’ll talk about it later.’ 

Almost immediately, Eren sent back numerous smiley faces. 

‘Your the best!’ 

Armin rolled his eyes. 

‘I didn’t say you’re off the hook, dick. Just wanted you to stop saying sorry. It’s pathetic.’ 

When his phone chimed again, Armin let out a huff. But his mood changed quickly when he saw the message wasn’t from Eren, but from Sasha. 

‘I think I’m actually dying from boredom.’ 

‘Take a walk. Go outside.’ 

‘But that requires effort.’ 

‘Then I can’t help you.’ 

‘D: Nooooo.’ 

‘Guess you’re on your own.’ 

“Armin, honey. We’re here.” Armin looked up to see they were outside the main entrance of the hospital. Dad hopped out to grab the wheelchair from the trunk. Mom climbed out and opened Armin’s door. He could see other people looking in their direction. He hated that. “Here, give me your bag.” Mom held out her hand, and Armin tucked his phone in the water bottle pouch before giving her the bag. 

“Alright, come on, Armin.” Dad was there with the chair. As he moved from the car to the chair, he could see all of the people staring at them, many with looks of confusion or pity. Mom handed him his bag back. “I’m gonna go park the car. I’ll be right back.” Dad said, moving back around to the driver’s side of the car. 

“We’ll wait for you in the lobby.” Mom said, grabbing her bag out of the front seat and closing the door. Dad got in and drove off while Mom shouldered her bag and stepped behind the chair. Armin closed his eyes as Mom pushed him towards the automatic doors. This way, he wouldn’t have to see the people staring. 

“Here we go again.” He whispered, clutching his backpack to his chest like armor.


	4. There Will Be Days When You're Falling Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next update. Hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i enjoy writing it. Also the cat's nickname is pronounced "Say-bee"

Sasha POV 

Sasha was lying on her bed, her head hanging off the edge. Sable wandered up and nuzzled her face, making her giggle. She’d been texting Armin all day and she had to admit, it was really nice having someone to text besides Papa. For one thing, Armin actually replied in a timely fashion. To be fair to Papa though, Armin didn’t seem to have a lot distracting him. Just then, her phone started to ring, and she sat up. She felt slightly woozy as the blood drained from her head. “Hi, Papa!” she exclaimed, answering the phone. 

“Hey Nugget! How’s it going at home?” 

“It’s fine. I think Sabi has finally settled. She’s not all up my butt now.” 

“That’s good. Did you have dinner yet?” 

“No. I was waiting for you to call.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Because I knew if I made dinner, you would inevitably call just as I was sitting down to eat it.” 

Papa laughed. “Oh, Nugget, that would be the worst for you.” 

“Yes, it would. Because I would have to sit there and watch it get cold. That’s torture.” 

Papa laughed again. “So, tell me about your new friend.” 

Sasha smiled. “His name’s Armin and he’s super funny and sweet. His family fed me dinner and took me for ice cream!” 

“Well, that’s nice of them. I’m glad you’re getting a real meal this weekend. You know I worry about you when I’m away.” 

“I know, but I’m okay, Papa. It’s better in this house.” 

“I’m glad. But it sounds like something is bothering you. What is it?” 

Sasha let out a sigh. “It’s Armin. He’s known around our grade for missing a lot of school, and he plays it off, but looking into his life, I think he’s really sick, Papa.” 

Papa sighed. “It’s always a shame when the young get seriously sick.” 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but he’s so tiny. Like, impossibly frail. And I think he’s really lonely, Papa. He misses so much school and he really only has like two friends to begin with and they’ve been blowing him off recently.” 

“Well, it sounds like he could use a friend, and he seems to like you.” 

“I’ve been texting him all day.” She couldn’t help but smile. 

“That’s great, Nugget!” 

“Oh, but that’s enough about me. How’s the conference?” 

“Boring so far.” Papa sighed. “I hope it picks up tomorrow but the speakers so far have been putting me to sleep.” He mimicked snoring and Sasha giggled. 

“You’ll be home on Tuesday, right?” 

“Yes. I’ll be home by the time you back from school.” 

“Yay! So have you met any interesting people?” 

“Not in the slightest, AND I’m stuck here with Alan, which just makes it all the worse.” 

“That’s terrible. But chin up, buttercup. It’s only two more days and then you’ll be home with me and Sable.” 

“How right you are.” 

“Which is very important because I have an algebra test on Friday.” 

“You’re a very needy girl, you know that?” 

“But that’s why you love me.” She giggled. 

Papa laughed. “Alright, I will help you on Wednesday.” 

“Thanks Papa! You’re the best.” 

“I try.” He sounded tired and Sasha felt bad for keeping him on the phone. 

“Well, you sound tired, so I’ll let you go.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah. You sound like you need some sleep, and Sabi and I need our dinners.” 

“Okay, well I love you, Sasha.” 

“I love you too, Papa.” 

“I’ll call you again tomorrow.” 

“Hopefully, you’ll have something better to report.” 

“I hope so.” 

“Bye bye.” 

“Bye, Nugget.” 

Sasha hung up the phone and put it in her back pocket. She rolled off her bed and scooped up Sable. “Time for dinner, little lady.” She wandered out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen. She set Sabi down and reached into the cabinet, pulling out a can of cat food. Sable knew what time it was, and twined through Sasha’s legs, meowing loudly. “Alright, hang on.” She huffed, opening the can and dumping it onto Sable’s special plate. “Here you go.” She said, setting it on the floor. “Now, for my dinner.” 

Sasha went to the freezer and pulled out a pizza. She grabbed the pizza pan and popped her pizza into the oven. “Now, I wait.” She sighed. Why did food have to take so long?” Just then, her butt started to vibrate. “What the- oh.” She remembered her phone and pulled it out of her pocket. Armin was calling her. What should she do? “Well, answer it, you dolt. That’s what normal people do.” She muttered to herself before clicking the button. “Hiya, Armin!” 

“Hey, Sasha.” He sounded really tired. 

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” She asked, hopping up to sit on the counter. 

“I needed to hear a voice besides my mother’s, before I go crazy.” 

“Well, I guess that answers my question about how your day has been then.” Armin laughed and then he was quiet for a little while. In the background, Sasha could hear a beeping noise that sounded like a heart monitor. Was Armin in the hospital? Her heart skipped a beat at the thought. “Is everything ok, Armin?” She was worried about her new friend. 

He sighed. “No. Nothing is okay. But I don’t really feel like talking about it.” 

“Okay. What do you want to talk about?” 

“I don’t know. What are you doing right now besides talking on the phone with me?” 

“Well, I’m sitting on my counter, watching Sable eat her dinner, and waiting for my pizza in the oven to finish cooking so that I can have my dinner.” 

“What kind of pizza?” 

“Pepperoni and sausage.” 

“Sounds better than my dinner.” 

“What did you have for dinner?” Sasha swung her legs lightly. 

“The blandest mac and cheese ever.” He sounded annoyed and Sasha giggled. 

“I take it your mom did not cook you dinner then?” 

“No, she did not.” He sighed. “What are you doing now?” 

Sasha was getting the feeling that Armin didn’t really care about what she was doing, just that he wanted to hear her voice. “Well, Sable finished eating, and has now left the room because she has no further need of my services. Other than that, my situation has not changed.” She paused and then said the next thought that came into her head. “Do you want to know what I’m wearing too?” The moment it was out of her mouth, she regretted it. She slapped a hand to her forehead. Why was she like this? 

On the other end of the phone, Armin guffawed and she could almost hear him blushing. “I mean, if that’s something you feel like sharing, Sasha.” 

She smiled brightly. Well, now he’d asked for it. “Well, I’m wearing blue jeans, boot cut style, and a plain black v-neck t-shirt. And a yellow zipper up sweatshirt. Oh, and grey socks with purple and blue polka dots.” 

“There you go with yellow again.” He sounded like he was in a slightly better mood. 

“Oh, wait, I didn’t finish with what I’m wearing.” 

“I think I can picture what is left, and I do not think it’s appropriate for our most basic level of friendship.” 

She laughed. “I thought we were beyond basic.” 

“Not that beyond.” 

“Armin, are you embarrassed by a girl talking about her bra?” 

“Um, pretty much, yeah.” 

That made her laugh. “You’re so adorable. And so unlike most guys I know.” 

“I think you’ll find that I have very little in common with most of the guys you know.” His tone was joking, but she sensed there was a more serious undertone to it. 

“I think it would only be fair for you to say what you’re wearing now.” She said, changing the subject. 

“Oh no. That’s not happening.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I, unlike you, did not offer that information up.” 

“You’re no fun.” She whined. 

“I don’t care.” 

Before she could argue more, the timer on the stove went off and she hopped off the counter. “Hang on, I’m putting you on speaker.” She pressed the button and set the phone down on the counter. 

“Why am I on speaker?” 

“Because I’m pulling my pizza out of the oven.” She grabbed her little pot holder and started to pull her pizza out of the oven. But she got a little too overexcited and the edge of the pan touched her wrist. A sharp pain shot through her arm, and she let out a yelp and dropped the pan onto the oven door. 

“Sasha! What did you do?” 

“Nothing!” She exclaimed, running to the sink and putting her burn under cool water. 

“You burned yourself, didn’t you?” 

“No….maybe! Ok, yes!” 

“Alright, I’m gonna hang up now before you burn your house down.” 

“Talk to you later.” She said, a little sad to end her conversation. 

“Bye, Sasha. Enjoy your dinner.” There was a click and she saw he’d hung up. She felt weird about it, but she sort of missed the sound of his voice.


	5. Still We're Fighting Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I posted this chapter on FFN over a month ago and apparently just never posted it on here

Armin POV 

Armin sat in the little lounge the hospital unit had. He wasn’t expecting anyone to hang out with, especially since the overwhelming majority of the patients were between the ages of five and ten, but he needed to get away from Mom. She was driving him up the wall, and he’d been here a little over 24 hours. The doctors figured he’d be here until at least Tuesday, so he told Mom to go get food. 

He was on his second pint of blood, so most of the little kids playing in the lounge were wary of him and his blood bag hanging from his IV pole. That was fine by Armin. Let him read his book in peace. He also had his music on, though only one ear bud in. Mom had a tendency to sneak up and scare the crap out of him if he left both in. Because of that, he heard the argument in the doorway behind him. 

“Dad, I don’t want to go sit with a bunch of babies!” That sounded like a teenage girl. 

“Annie, they’re not babies. And you need to get out of the room.” 

“You mean, YOU need to get out of the room. I don’t see why I can’t stay.” 

“Because I’m not leaving you alone in there.” Armin could relate to her struggle. Mom was the same way. 

“Well, I’m not sitting with a bunch of toddlers while you go take a smoke break.” Armin turned to look at the door and caught sight of a short blonde girl. She looked pissed off. 

“Well, THEY look about your age. And they’re a bleeder too. So, you’ll have something to bond over.” 

Armin appreciated the man’s use of the word they, since he was clearly unsure of Armin’s gender. Most people would have just called him she. The girl locked eyes with Armin and huffed. “Fine.” She said, stalking into the room, hauling her IV pole behind her, and plunking down on the couch next to Armin. Seeing her up close, she was as pale as he was. Anemia could be a bitch. Her IV pole had something orange and mushy attached. It rather looked like vomit. The girl caught him looking and he quickly looked back at his book, his face flushing slightly. “They’re platelets.” She said matter-of-factly. “I have a clotting disorder.” 

He looked back up at her. “I’m in for anemia.” He glanced at his blood bag. 

“Aren’t we all?” she sighed, before holding out her hand. “I’m Annie.” 

“Armin.” He said, shaking her hand. 

“What are you reading?” 

“The Scarlet Letter. And I’m honestly ready to poke my eyes out.” He marked his place and closed the book. 

“Are you reading it for school?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

She nodded understandingly. “I had to read it last year.” 

“I don’t know why I’m bothering. It’s not like I’m going to be in class to discuss it.” 

“Then don’t bother. It’s a stupid book.” 

“Oh, but don’t you know, it’s a literary classic.” 

“If you use the term classic as in sleep inducing, then sure.” 

Armin laughed. “That’s exactly what I mean.” 

“It’s good that we’re on the same page.” She smiled back. “How are you in for?” 

“At least until Tuesday. You?” 

“About the same time.” A little boy was staring at her from where he was sitting on the floor. “What are you staring at, kid?” She barked. The boy jumped and looked away. 

Armin shook his head. “I cannot wait until I don’t have to be on this unit anymore. Nine more months.” Annie huffed. 

“Are you a senior?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be glad to be done with school too.” 

“Where do you go?” 

“Aanval Senior High.” 

“Hey, me too. I’m a junior there.” 

“I don’t remember seeing you around.” 

“I miss a lot of school.” 

“Pretty bad anemia then.” Annie glanced at his IV pole. 

“Sometimes.” He shrugged. “Sometimes it’s other stuff.” 

“Very specific statements there. I can definitely relate to what you’re talking about.” 

Before he could answer, a familiar voice began speaking to him, making him sigh and stare up at the ceiling. “Armin, sweetheart? The nurse said you were in here. I brought you-oh.” 

Armin spun around and looked at the figure in the doorway. “Hi Mom.” Annie also spun around to look. 

“Hi, sweetie. Who’s your friend?” 

“This is Annie.” 

“Hi, Annie. I’m Klara.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Annie nodded. 

“What’d you bring me?” Armin asked. 

“Oh, pudding. Here.” She handed a sealed plastic cup to him. 

Annie’s eyes grew wide and she let out a gasp. “Is that the chocolate pudding with the cookie crumbles and the whipped cream that you can only buy in the cafeteria because they won’t send it up with meals?” 

Armin grinned at her, holding the pudding close to his chest. “You’re damn right it is.” 

“Language, Armin. There are kiddos around.” 

Annie just stared at Armin. “I have to call my dad.” 

“You should. Because otherwise you’ll just spend all night thinking about me in my room, eating this pudding.” 

“Armin, it’s time to go back to the room and call down for dinner.” Mom said. 

Armin handed her his book and his pudding before standing up. “Meet in here tomorrow?” 

“Sure.” Annie said. She already had her phone out and was dialing the number. 

“See you then.” She gave Armin a wave as he left the room. 

Mom’s hand was firmly on his elbow as he walked. “Are you sure you don’t want-“ 

“I’m not using the chair, Mom!” he snapped, then he took a deep breath and continued in a quieter voice. “Besides, the doctor said I need to get my strength back, and I get that by walking.” 

Mom was quiet until they got back to the room. She tried not to, but she always took it hard when Armin lost his temper with her. He tried not to, as none of this was her fault, but she was the one who was usually with him, so she caught the brunt of it. “It’s nice that there’s someone here that’s your age.” She said, helping him get back into bed. 

“Yeah.” He shrugged his shoulders. 

“Alright, what do you want for dinner?” 

“Whatever.” He shrugged again. He picked up his phone and began checking his messages. He wasn’t aware of what Mom was doing until the song he was listening to suddenly vanished. Mom had yanked out his ear bud. “What the-“ 

“Armin Matthias Arlert, are you angry with me?” 

He knew he was in for it since she used his full name, but he didn’t know what he’d done. “No!” 

“Then why are you treating me like you are? You yell at me, and then you barely say five words to me. I know this is hard for you, but I am still your mother and I deserve a little respect.” 

“Okay, I’m sorry.” 

“What is your issue?” 

He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m 16?” 

Mom shook her head. “What do you want for dinner?” 

“I genuinely do not care. It’s all going to suck.” 

Mom huffed. “You’re impossible, you know that?” 

“I try.” He said, picking up his ear bud and sticking it back in his ear.


	6. We'll Rise by the Sound of the Birdsongs

Sasha POV

Sasha practically raced home from school on Tuesday. Papa was supposed to be home. But she paused as she passed the Arlert house. Armin had said he was home. Should she stop by and say hi? She decided against just dropping in. She didn’t know him well enough, and she wanted to see Papa. 

She turned and actually ran the rest of the way home, letting out a whoop when she saw Papa’s car in the driveway. Sasha burst in the front door unceremoniously. “Papa?” 

“Back here, Nugget!” he called from his office. 

She dumped her backpack on the floor and ran down the hallway. Papa caught her in the doorway to the office, lifting her off the floor. He carried her into the office and swung her around. Sasha placed a kiss on his cheek. “I missed you!” 

“I missed you more, my Sasha.” He placed her back on her feet. “I brought you a present.” 

“What is it?” She watched him go to his briefcase and rummage around inside. “It’s those cookies you like, the ones we’ve only ever found at the airport.” He held them out. 

Sasha squealed and took them before wrapping her arms around him, hugging him again. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

“You’re welcome, Nugget.” Papa said, hugging her back and kissing the top of her head. 

“So, how was your trip?” She asked, pulling away. 

“Incredibly boring and not the least bit useful. And Alan was his usual, unbearable self.” 

“Well, it sounds like we should go out to dinner, so you can forget all about it.” 

“Oh, is that so?” Papa smirked. “I think we’re going to order in. I’m too tired to go out tonight.” 

“Okay. I’ll get the menus. What are you feeling tonight? Thai? Chinese?” She left the office. 

“How about pizza?” Papa called after her. 

“Okay. From where?” She asked as she reached the kitchen. Her phone buzzed in her pocket. 

_‘Hey Sasha.’_

_‘What’s up, Armin?’_ She typed back before grabbing the pizza menus and heading back towards the office. 

_‘Guess who’s going to be in school on Thursday!!’_

Sasha squealed with excitement. “Oh my gosh! Papa! Armin’s coming back to school on Thursday!” She exclaimed, bouncing into the room. 

“That’s great, Nugget. You should offer to walk with him.” 

“Right.” _‘Would you want to walk together?’_

_‘Actually, my mom’s driving me. :( ‘_ A moment later, another message came through. _‘Would you like a ride?’_

“Oh. He’s offering me a ride.” Sasha said, handing the menus to Papa. 

“You should take it. You complain about the walk.” Papa said, looking through them. 

“I do not complain.” She huffed. 

“Yes, you do. We’ve been here two weeks and you’ve done nothing but complain about it.” Papa settled on one and dialed the number. 

Sasha took the opportunity to text Armin back. _‘I would love a ride. What time should I walk over?’_

_‘You don’t need to walk over.’_

_‘I live in the opposite direction of school and it’s only a block. I could use the exercise. :) ‘_

_‘Ok. How about 7? Meet at the garage.’_

_‘Sounds like a plan. How was your day?’_

_‘Better. I get to sleep in my own bed tonight.’_ For someone so hellbent on his secrets, Armin was prone to drop unintentional hints about his situation. She wondered if his friends just didn’t pay attention, or if they didn’t care. She hoped they cared about Armin, because he seemed to deeply care about them. 

_‘Nothing better than your own bed…except maybe a home cooked meal.’_

_‘I get that too.’_

_‘Congrats.’_

_‘Thanks. What are your dinner plans?’_

_‘Ordering pizza. Papa’s home!’_

"Alright, Nugget! Pizza’s ordered. Let’s go pick a movie.” Papa said, ruffling her hair. Sasha followed him into the living room. Papa had sunk onto couch, when Sasha’s phone buzzed again. 

_‘Good. I’m glad you’re not alone.’_ How sweet was this boy? 

Papa had queued up Netflix. “What’ll it be? A comedy? Horror? Drama?” 

“Definitely not a horror. It’s a school night.” Sasha liked horror movies, but horror movies did not like her. She’d stay awake all night imagining monsters were coming to kill her. 

“Okay, so what are you feeling?” This launched them into a twenty-five-minute discussion on what to watch. It seemed like everything one suggested, the other shot down. But finally, they settled on Olympus has Fallen. 

Papa had just started the movie when the doorbell rang. “Ugh.” He groaned. 

“I’ll get it!” Sasha bounced to her feet. 

“Okay, here.” Papa handed her the money and sank back down onto the couch, looking grateful. 

Sasha walked to the front door and was already greeting the delivery driver when she realized that she knew him. “Hel-oh. Hi, Connie!” Connie Springer sat next to her in English and was also in her gym class. He was probably her closest friend at school, though they had never spoken outside of it. 

“Hey, Sasha!” he grinned at her. “How’s it going?’ 

“Pretty good now that my pizza is here.” She grinned back. 

“Oh yeah. It’ll be $35.” Connie said, holding out a large pizza, a paper bag on top, and a two-liter bottle of cola.” 

“Here.” She handed him $40 and took the food. “Keep the change.” 

“Awesome.” He tucked the money into his pocket. “You having a party or something?” 

“Movie night.” 

“Cool. Have fun.” 

“Thanks, Connie. Have a good night at work.” 

“Thanks, Sasha.” He gave her a smile before walking back down the sidewalk to the car. 

Sasha turned and closed the door, carrying the food to the living room. “What took so long? Was something wrong?” Papa asked, taking the soda off the top. 

“Nothing was wrong.” She set the food down on the coffee table and went to the kitchen and grabbed two glasses and two plates and carried them back to the living room. 

“So, why were you at the door for so long?” 

“Oh, the delivery guy was Connie.” She smiled as she pulled a couple slices of pizza onto the plates. 

“Your gym class friend?” Papa asked, pouring soda into the glasses. 

“Yeah, isn’t that cool? Imagine the odds. Of all the pizza places, and of all the delivery drivers, and we lucked out.” She giggled as she sat down next to Papa on the couch. 

“Yeah, that is sort of funny.” Papa started the movie and they set about eating their dinner. The pizza was really good, and the garlic knots Papa has also ordered were superb. 

A couple hours later, having moved on to London has Fallen, Sasha lay cuddled against Papa. “We should definitely order from them again. That was really good.” She said. 

“Yeah, it was.” 

Sasha’s phone buzzed that she had a new message. She pulled it out and smiled. It was from Armin. _‘Hope you have a good night and sleep well.’_

“Huh. That’s a different smile.” 

Sasha looked up at Papa. “What do you mean?” 

“Do you have a crush on Armin?” 

“Papa, stop it. He’s my friend.” She shook her head. “It’s just that he’s a total sweetheart, and I’m not used to it. 

“Alright. I’ll drop it.” Sasha didn’t think he would. But she forgot all about it as she read the message again. That smile spread across her face again. He was so sweet, she felt like she might melt.


	7. Is It Too Much To Ask to Just Be Wanted

**Armin POV**

“Oh, don’t be a fucking dick!” Armin was sitting in the living room, playing Halo on X-Box live. “Seriously, you fucknugget?” 

Mom walked into the room. “Seriously, Armin?” She said, snatching the headphones off his head. 

“Mom!” he stared at her as she switched the tv off. “I was in the middle of something!” 

“That’s enough for today. Why don’t you go outside?” 

“Why don’t you go outside?” Armin mimicked in a high-pitched voice as he got off the couch and walked towards his room. 

“I am SO glad you go back to school tomorrow.” Mom muttered as she headed back into the kitchen. 

Armin grabbed his phone off his desk. He might as well actually go outside since Mom had kicked him off the tv. He was heading out of his bedroom when the doorbell rang. “I’ve got it!” he called. Who would be visiting them at 3:30 on a Wednesday afternoon? Maybe it was Sasha. He swung open the door to find Mikasa on the other side. “Oh, did you finally remember that I’m alive?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Armin-“ 

“Come in.” he said, standing aside so she could step inside. “I’ve been banished to the backyard. He closed the front door and started through the house towards the back door. 

Grandpa had his bedroom door open as they passed. “Armin, is that-“ 

“Yes, Grandpa. It’s a girl. I’m gonna go make out with her for several hours. Make sure you go and tell Mom.” He walked out the back door. 

“You’re in a mood today.” Mikasa said, closing the back door behind her. 

“You would be too if your two best friends ghosted you for three weeks and then you find out it’s because they’re sucking face.” He snapped. 

“Armin, that’s not-I mean-How did you even find out?” 

“I’m not revealing my sources. What does that matter anyway?” 

“This isn’t how we wanted you to find out.” 

“Did you want me to find out at all? Or was I just supposed to walk in on you two?” 

“Would you let me-“ 

“How long, Mikasa?” He asked quietly. “How long have you actually kept this from me?” 

She stared at him for a moment and then looked down at the ground. She sighed before saying, “About three months.” 

“Three-three.” He stared at her, though she wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Are you shitting me? You’ve been hiding this from me for three fucking months? What the actual fuck, Mikasa?” 

“Don’t swear at me.” Her head snapped up. 

“I’ll swear at you if I fucking feel like it!” he didn’t think he’d ever yelled at Mikasa before, but he was having a pretty shitty week. “Why? Why have you been lying to me? Am I not the one who’s been encouraging you to get together for fucking years?” 

“I don’t know! It just never came up!” 

Armin’s eyes widened. “It never came up? That’s your excuse? Well, excuse the fuck out of me! I didn’t know I was supposed to ask for updates on whether or not you two were boning!” 

“Watch your mouth now.” He could see Mikasa was starting to get annoyed. Good. Let her get a taste for what he’d been feeling. “We hardly ever see you anymore, and it’s like you’re a different person, so excuse us for not wanting to talk to you about sensitive stuff.” 

Armin felt like his world was crashing down around him. He could hear the blood pounding in his ears. Were his worst thoughts true? Were his friends really tired of him? Just like that, his anger came surging back. How dare she? “So, your solution is just to cut me off entirely?” he spoke with venom in his voice and he was sure his eyes had a nasty look to them. “No, it’s fine. I get it. It’s hard to have a friend group of three, especially when two of them start dating. I’m the odd bitch out.” Mikasa’s jaw dropped open. “Well, if you’re that tired of me, then just fucking say so!” He was basically snarling now. “Don’t keep radio silence for three weeks and then come crawling back into my life expecting me to forgive you for treating me like shit!” Mikasa’s face grew angry again. “I’m not disposable! I could have been fucking dead, and you two would be none the wiser. Maybe you would prefer it if I was!” He didn’t see her hand coming until right before it connected with his face, and then it was too late to do anything. She hit him with enough force to send him stumbling back several steps. 

Mikasa’s hands covered her mouth and she seemed to realize she had done something terrible. “Armin, I-“ 

“Get out of my house!” he snapped, his hand covering his stinging face. 

“Armin-“ she stepped closer to him and he recoiled. 

“Get the fuck away from me.” He started walking around the house towards the street. 

He heard Mom open the kitchen window. Armin? Where are you going? Arm-Mikasa? What is happening?” 

They got in front of the house when Mikasa caught up to him. She grabbed his arm. “Armin, I’m sorry.” 

He swung his elbow back and connected with her stomach. She let out a grunt as he jerked his arm out of her grasp. “Don’t fucking touch me!” He took off running down the street. 

“Armin!” Mikasa called after him. 

He had tears in his eyes as he ran. What was happening to his life? Maybe it would be better if he’d just die already. He made it a block down the street before he doubled over, out of breath and dizzy. He wasn’t recovered enough to be running. He was starting to think he was in trouble when he heard a familiar voice. “Armin?” he looked up in time to see Sasha walking towards him before the world got all screwy and he felt himself falling. “Woah! I got you!” he felt her arms close around him, holding him upright. “Let’s go in the house.” She flung his arm around her neck and helped him walk up the sidewalk and into her house. “Okay, here’s the living room. Annnnnd, here’s the couch.” He basically fell onto the couch. “What do you need? Water or-“ 

“N-n-nothing. Just-“ was all he could get out. Sasha grabbed his hand. 

“I’m here. I’m right here.” She twined her fingers through his, and Armin felt himself begin to calm. Slowly, the room stopped spinning and he could breathe normally again. “You okay?” Sasha was looking at him with such concern in her amber colored eyes. 

“I’m-I’m okay now.” He said. 

She held up a tissue and lightly dabbed at his eyes. He hadn’t realized he was still crying. “What happened?” 

“I had a fight with my friend. It got pretty nasty.” 

“I’m sorry.” Sasha gently brushed a hand over his cheek. “Did they hit you?” 

“Yeah, but I elbowed them back, so we’re both awful.” He looked down at his lap. He regretted hurting Mikasa. It didn’t solve anything. 

“It’s not awful to defend yourself, Armin.” 

“I’m not sure that’s what I did.” He could feel the tears filling his eyes again. 

Sasha let go of his hand and wrapped him in a hug. “It’s okay.” She soothed. 

“No, it’s not. Everything is fucking awful.” He hugged her back. 

To her credit, Sasha just let him cry it out. When he was done, she gently wiped his eyes with another tissue. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I don’t know. There’s just too much happening right now, and I feel so irrationally angry and I snap at people, and then I just feel so fucking awful about it. And I feel like I don’t have any control over my life. Like, I’m not in the driver’s seat, I’m just hanging on for dear life. Do you know what I mean?” 

Sasha looked really sad. “I do. I’ve been there. I think to a certain extent, I might still be there.” 

Armin took her hand. “The worst part is, I’m not even sure if I want to keep holding on. Like, I find myself wondering what would happen if I let go.” 

“Can I ask you a question, Armin? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” 

“Sure.” 

She studied his face for a moment. “How sick are you really?” 

He let out a sigh. He had known this question was coming, though he had hoped not quite so soon. But Sasha seemed pretty intuitive. “Pretty sick, though I’m sure you’ve guessed that already.” 

“Yeah.” She said softly. 

He decided to come completely clean. Maybe he’d feel better if he told someone the truth. “My kidneys are failing.” 

“Oh my god.” 

“It started out as something called Granulomatosis with polyangiitis. I still suffer from symptoms of it. I was diagnosed when I was 10. But they didn’t realize what it was until it was too late, and my kidneys were damaged. And I was diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Disease when I was 11.” 

“Are you going to die?” Sasha asked in a small voice. 

“Probably.” He shrugged. “The doctors say once my kidneys reach a certain level, I’ll have to go on dialysis. That’s called renal failure. After that, it’s a kidney transplant. But there’s so many things that could go wrong that I don’t expect to make it to that point. I’ve prepared myself for it.” 

He could see tears in her eyes, but she blinked several times. Clearly, she didn’t want to cry. “Who-“ She took a moment, still trying to collect herself. “Who all knows?” 

“Just my family. If I get sick enough that I’ll have to tell people, I’m probably going to kill myself. I refuse to let my family watch me waste away. When I become a true burden, I’m out.” Sasha stared down at her lap. He felt bad. This was too much to put on someone all at once. But he also felt a sense of relief. Someone knew. 

Finally, she gave his hand a squeeze. “Do you want to stay for dinner?” 

He blinked several times. That was an abrupt change of topic. But, he guessed there wasn’t anywhere to go except changing quickly. He was glad she didn’t try to dissuade him from suicide. “Um, maybe another night.” 

“Okay.” She nodded her head. She looked like she wanted to say something else when the front door opened. 

“Nugget! I’m home.” A male voice called. 

“We’re in here, Papa!” she answered. 

Armin turned in time to see a very large man step into the room. Armin’s eyes widened. Sasha hadn’t mentioned that her dad was a freaking giant. “Oh. You didn’t say you were having a friend over, Sasha.” Mr. Braus looked disapprovingly at Armin. 

“Papa, this is Armin.” Mr. Braus’ expression softened, and Armin saw pity in his eyes. Great. 

“Oh, nice to meet you, Armin.” 

“Likewise, sir.” Armin held out his hand, and he realized how small it was as Mr. Braus enveloped it in his large, meaty one. 

“Is Armin staying for dinner?” 

“Maybe another night.” Sasha said. 

“Actually, I should be heading home. I’m sure Mom has called the National Guard by now.” He rose to his feet and wobbled slightly. Sasha was on her feet in an instant, grabbing him. Armin saw a look pass between Sasha and her dad. They’d be talking about him later. “I’m fine. I-I got it.” 

“I’ll walk you home.” Sasha let go of him. 

Armin knew better than to argue. So, he gave her a smile. “Sure.” He nodded to Mr. Braus as they started towards the door. “It was nice meeting you, sir.” 

“Yeah, you too, Armin.” 

As they started down the sidewalk, Armin looked at Sasha. “You didn’t tell me your dad is a giant!” 

She smiled. “Oh yeah. He’s pretty big, isn’t he?” 

“And terrifying. If I wasn’t sick, I think he might have killed me.” 

Sasha laughed. “You’re probably right.” Armin could tell by her body language that she wanted to hold onto him, make sure he didn’t fall over. He knew there was only one way to get her to stop. So, he reached over and took her hand. “If my dad sees you holding my hand, he still might, sick or not.” 

“It would be a mercy killing. Make sure you use that in his defense.” They reached Armin’s front door soon enough. “Thank you.” He said. “For listening to me, and comforting me.” 

She gave him a sad smile. “Thank you for trusting me with your secret.” She wrapped him in a hug. “Just remember, I’m just down the road if you need me.” 

He gave her a small smile back as she pulled away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” 

She nodded her head. “Yeah. See you in the morning.” She turned away and Armin went into the house. 

“Mom!” he called, closing the door. 

“Armin? What is hap-“ Armin hugged her, burying his face in her shoulder. “Oh, sweetheart.” She sighed, hugging him tight. “I’ve got you.”


End file.
